Facing Our Shadows
When Marie came to see me, for her QHHT session, she was going through a recurring period of depression and anxiety. She wanted to find the root cause to break the cycle. She’d recently turned 18 years old, and was feeling overwhelmed, lonely and lethargic.
Pour lire cet article en français, CLIQUER ICI.
At the end of the induction, she arrived in a dark space—some type of void. She was feeling a lot of stress and anxiety. When I suggested that she could see herself as an observer, she was able to disassociate herself from the emotional and physical sensations. She floated above the scene and saw herself in another pocket inside the void. We spent some time exploring this dark space where she also saw different colours and energies swirling around.
Eventually, the scene started clearing up and she could make out a couple of arches. She saw herself as a young woman standing in a meadow just outside the walls of a small European-type village. She entered through the arched gateway and we explored this life story.
She had many wonderful friends and close family ties. She loved her job in the village bakery. She lived on her own in a beautiful house, where she enjoyed having people over for meals. She loved her dogs. It was a simple village life. She was happy and content. She wasn’t rich, but had all she needed. She died peacefully in her mid to late 60s.
She crossed over the veil and reviewed that life, but then ended up back in the void. It wasn’t totally as black. There was some brightness to it, but she started feeling stressed out again, both physically and emotionally. I made suggestions that she could look at it as an observer again, but her conscious mind was coming up and she started having a panic attack. She wanted to stop the session, but I kept her talking.
Both Marie’s conscious mind and Higher Self (what Dolores Cannon called the subconscious) contributed to her self-healing for the remainder of the session. What ensued was both intense and amazing.
*The client’s name has been changed in order to respect her privacy. I share these excerpts with her permission. We conversed in both French and English (we live in a bilingual province), and I’ve translated from the transcript of the audio recording. I also reorganized some of the material to make the story easier to follow.
Excerpts From Marie’s QHHT® Session
M: It looks like when I dropped in the village, before everything was clear. But the feeling is very different.
R: OK. But you said it’s not as dark as it was before.
M: No. But the … (pause) It’s like I’m outside the village looking at the two arches, but it’s all blurry, like it was before I started like giving all the details and stuff when I dropped down there. (OK) Um… But there’s a lot of stress instead of peace.
R: OK. And what do you want to do with that stress?
M: (She chuckles) I don’t want it.
R: So, you want to get rid of that stress?
R: OK. So how would you get rid of it?
M: Is it possible to take a break?
R: What do you mean, like a pee break?
M: No, like…[She wants to stop the session.]
R: Just take a deep breath. (Breathes deeply) And now you’re feeling stress?
R: So, we can dissipate that stress. This is a magical place.
M: Uh, huh…
R: What would you do to make the stress disappear, magically?
M: (Becoming emotional) Can we stop?
R: Just take a deep breath and you’re fine. (Deep emotional breath) You can look at it as an observer. You don’t have to feel the stress, just move yourself out of that, and look at it as an observer. Take a deep, deep breath… (She takes a very deep breath, tears are streaming down her face) You can cry, and it’s OK if you want to cry. It’s all healing. It’s all very healing. (Takes another deep breath, getting hold of emotions) What do you want to say to this stress?
M: I just want to know why it’s in the place I was so happy?
Becoming the Observer
R: OK. You can look at it as an observer. You can let the emotion out, whichever you feel like doing. (She takes a deep breath, tears still streaming down her face.)
M: It’s like the stress of the void, but in the place of the village.
R: OK. That’s good. The stress of the void… but in the place of the village. OK. Just talk it out.
M: (She takes another deep breath) Well, my body anyway, is having a full out panic attack.
R: You’re the observer, so that’s fine. (lets out a deep exhale) Let the body clear whatever needs to clear. (Another deep exhale) OK. Just talk it through as the observer. What’s happening to the body when it’s clearing? Because it [the observer] doesn’t have that panic attack, right? (She lets out a little laugh)
R: OK. So what can you tell the body, so it can let go of the panic attack?
M: (Deep breaths, tears still streaming down her face, then another little laugh) Just, like, come back to present moment, when I feel stress. (Still breathing through the emotions, but in a less intense way)
R: That’s fine. This is very healing. Your subconscious wouldn’t be showing it to you if it weren’t important. (Sniffling) It’s because we want to let it go.
M: Yeah (little laugh through the tears)
R: So, just imagine … if you were to let go of all your stress and all your anxiety. If you could make it … look like something … what would that stress and anxiety look like, if you needed to draw it?
The Big Black Ball
M: It’s like a ball of energy … like dark energy.
R: OK. How big is that ball?
M: It’s pretty frigging big. (Small laugh)
R: What do you mean by that?
M: Like, a good metre, in diameter.
R: OK, well that’s not that big… I thought you meant like bigger than the village.
M: No. It’s larger … it’s larger than my shoulders, ha! (Still has emotion in her voice, but becoming calmer) (OK). That’s why it looks big … it’s right in front of me.
R: Right in front of you. OK. So, you said it was dark and it was a ball. How else can you describe it?
M: It’s … it’s moving kind of like … you know how the sun has like solar flares? It has explosions on the top. It’s like that. (She sniffles)
R: OK. What else?
M: They’re like different colours throughout the other colours. (Chuckling)
R: Like what colours?
M: Oh! Blue and pink.
R: What do those colours represent? Do they represent anything?
M: I don’t know.
R: OK. (Deep sigh) So what do you want to do with this ball?
M: (Pause and small laugh) I want answers.
R: OK. The ball, in front of you, either you can ask it questions, or you can make it do whatever you want it to do. What do you feel like doing?
M: (Deep breath … pause) I feel like I need to make it do something.
R: OK. Like what?
M: (Sniffling and tears still rolling down her face but she is much calmer than at the beginning.) Like … make it grow until it dissipates. (OK) Like, the same amount of anxiety, just not right in front of me. (OK) Like … everywhere. (Sniffles)
R: So how would you do that?
M: I just, push it and spread it. (Chuckles)
R: OK and how would you push it and spread it? Describe it to me.
M: I can touch it.
R: OK. What does it feel like when you touch it?
M: It’s really warm. It’s hot.
R: Hot. OK. It won’t hurt … you don’t have to feel the physical sensation, but knowing that it’s hot is a good thing. So, now what happens?
M: Um … it’s, it’s like exploding. Not like violent. Just spreading.
R: OK what do you mean by spreading?
M: Like … you know, when you put salt on your driveway… and you use a small Tupperware container, and you throw the salt. (Yes.) Like, spreading it out like that. Not the same amount, not so concentrated.
R: OK. And now … is the ball disintegrated or how is that happening?
M: Yah. It’s like, in the sky. It’s like everywhere.
R: And now, what’s happening with it?
M: It’s like … it’s almost gone.
R: OK and how are you feeling now?
M: (Let’s out a deep breath). Very confused. (calm but sniffles)
R: OK. So, you don’t want this anxiety in your life anymore.
M: No. (emphatically)
R: Alright. So, now that’s it’s not a great big ball in front of you … is it more manageable now that’s it’s not so close and in front of you?
M: Yeah… (But doesn’t seem convinced)
R: So, now … if you want to get rid of it completely. How would you do that? (Pause) Because, now it’s not this great big ball in front of you anymore, right?
M: (Still sniffling, more tears and more emotions coming up)
R: What emotions are you feeling now?
M: (Sobbing as she is talking) It took a lot of energy to get rid of that ball.
R: That’s really good. I mean, you got rid of it. That’s a really good thing, isn’t it?
M: Yes. (Deep sigh … still emotional)
R: Yah. It took you a lot of energy to get rid of the ball, but you got rid of it.
M: (Sniffling) Like, I see myself on the ground, all crouched up … and I’m just sobbing.
R: That’s good. It’s good if you need to cry. Crying is a good thing. (Deep sobs) Because you confronted that big ball of energy, that big ball of anxiety and you dissipated it. So, as the observer, what can you tell the body that is down there that is crouching? What can you tell your body?
M: (Deep sigh) To let it out.
R: Uh-Huh. (Another deep sigh) Why is it important to let it out?
M: (Sniffs) Because, if not, it will stay with you.
R: And, we don’t want that.
M: No (laughing and sobbing at the same time) Just got rid of it. (Laughing)
Calling in Marie's Higher Self
During the second part of the regression, we find out more when I called forth her subconscious/Higher Self and requested its permission to ask questions.
R: So, why did you choose the life of the woman who lived a very content and peaceful life, for her to see?
M: To show her it was possible.
R: Why was it important to show her it was possible?
M: She’s trying to reach that, but she feels stuck.
R: Why does she feel stuck?
M: It’s that black ball.
R: Yes. So, what did that black ball represent?
M: All the troubles she carries with her. All the anxiety.
R: What else can you tell us about that big black ball? (Pause) We got rid of it. (Pause) What does it represent?
R: Why was she experiencing all that negativity and anxiety? (Deep breath) Why did she go through all that trouble in her [present] life? She’s so young to have experienced these things. (Pause) Does it come from this life? Or does it come from another life?
M: There’s nothing (She whispers this and becomes emotional again as her conscious mind has come to the forefront.)
R: So tell me more about that life that we were examining. Is there anybody in that life that she knows in this life? Did she recognize anybody in that life that we examined? (Tears are streaming down her cheeks again) Why is she feeling emotional right now?
M: Cause my subconscious isn’t saying anything. (Crying)
R: Your subconscious is there … are there more emotions that need to come out?
M: (A short laugh and crying at same time) It seems that way.
R: OK. So, do you want to let those emotions go, or do you just want to be the observer?
M: (Deep breath and sobs). I think I just need to cry.
R: OK. Cry. This is a really healing space. (Sobbing) Cry. Because it took a lot of energy to move that black ball. (Still sobbing and taking deep breaths) That’s such a big thing that Marie was able to do, to look at it in the face and to move it away. You can let it all go. (Sniffling and deep breaths)
R: What do the tears represent?
M: (Deep Breath and sob) Let it go!
R: How does it feel to let if go?
M: It feels really good, man! I’ve been wanting to cry for weeks now, but it just didn’t want to come out.
R: Good. (Sniffling) What else can you tell me about these tears? (Deep sigh) Hmmm? First thing that comes to mind?
M: Nothing is coming. It’s just quiet.
R: Quiet is good.
M: (Lets out a laugh) Not if you want answers?
R: I think that’s fine. We got lots of answers.
R: Lots of answers. (Sniffles)
R: Good. What else?
M: My subconscious forgot to turn the microphone on. (We both laugh)
R: Your subconscious is still here. (Deep sigh) Just take another deep breath. (Deep breath) Are there more emotions that Marie needs to clear out?
M: (Big sigh and small laugh) I think so…
R: OK. What kind of emotions?
M: All the worry.
R: What does the worry look like?
M: It’s just energy. (Sniffles, and big sigh)
R: You’re doing very, very well. This is an amazing session.
R: Anything you want to say to your subconscious?
M: Thank you.
R: Hmmm. Your subconscious is there and it’s listening to you. Is there anything you’d like to say to your subconscious?
M: We need to talk more often. (Sniffling and laughing)
M: I’m so happy to have experienced this. Like, I understand…(I give her a couple of tissues and she blows her nose.)
R: What are the positive emotions that are coming out now?
M: (Deep sigh) To have gone through it, to not just stop it [the session]. R: Why did Marie want to stop it.
M: Because it was too much…
R: What was too much?
M: It was so much emotion …
R: Uh-huh … But why did she want to stop?
M: She didn’t know how to deal with it … [the panic attack].
R: So, it was important that we continued…
M: Yes! (emphatic)
M: Because I proved to myself (sniffles) … If I hadn’t dealt with it, it wouldn’t have gone away. Just to prove that I’m capable of dealing with it.
R: Ah. So, was it difficult to do?
M: Holy shit, yes. (Deep sigh).
R: It was difficult.
M: Yes (emotional)
M: Because I’ve been holding on to it for so long… It’s like a part of me has left me …
R: Yes. Why was Marie holding on to this big ball of anxiety?
M: I didn’t know how to deal with it.
I continued asking questions from the list Marie had brought to the session, and she got more insight and suggestions on how to live a happier and more peaceful life. Her subconscious/Higher Self told her that she needed to take some time to recharge her batteries, because it had taken a lot of her energy to deal with that big ball of anxiety inside of her on a day to day basis. And, if ever it started showing up again, it would be a reminder that she isn’t taking care of herself the way she should.
R: But why would it ever come back?
M: Because it was a part of me for a long time.
R: When did it start? How old was she when it started?
M: I think it was always there.
R: Did it belong Marie?
M: I think so. (Crying)
R: Is there a reason? Was it serving anything?
M: I think it was to help me to help others.
R: OK. How so?
M: (Laughs) Well, I can empathize. I can put myself in other people’s shoes. (Big sigh)
R: Uh-huh. So going through that helps Marie to help other people?
M: Well, because I understand what others are going through. I’m kind of more able to help them.
R: Now that she understands that, does she need to live it again?
At one point she made a reference to the swirl of colours she was seeing in the void at the beginning of the regression.
M: I think that the different colours belonged to someone else. Like, the black, that was all mine, but the different colours inside that, I think that was other people’s.
R: Marie takes on other people’s worry and stress and anxiety?
M: That’s an understatement. (Laughs)
R: OK. So, why does she do that?
M: (Big sigh) She just wants to help.
R: But is that helping her? M: Well, if she can learn to deal with it. Yes.
R: Is there a point to making herself sick trying to help somebody else?
M: You just have to help the right people, because some people don’t want to be helped. That’s what’s draining.
R: But how can she discern between who deserves her help and who doesn’t?
M: I don’t think it’s a thing of ‘deserve’, it’s a thing of … if they’re open to it.
R: OK. So, how can she tell?
M: Well, it’s like I was saying earlier. I try to help others, but for them they were full of all kinds of the excuses. So then, I backed off because I was starting to feel drained.
R: But does she back off quick enough, or?
M: She tries to. (Laughs) But, having had the experience, she’ll …
R: Yes. She’s got a lot of experience for her young age.
M: That’s also an understatement. (Laughs)
As part of the self-healing process, I asked the Subconscious/Higher Self to do a scan of Marie’s body. I then made sure everything was in harmony and in balance.
R: Are there any spots in the body now that need to be looked at in detail?
R: So everything is cleared?
R: Everything is released?
R: Marie doesn’t need to have any more problems in her knees?
R: Doesn’t need to have more problems in her back?
R: OK. She can let it all go? (Deep breath) It’s already all gone? She’s lived a happy life before.
R: Did she have any aches and pains in that life?
R: No aches and pains in that life. So she can have that type of life in this life now?
R: Well that’s good. Any other advice that you can give her about the life that we were examining?
M: It’s still in you….
R: Anything else?
M: Just keep doing what she’s been doing now. She was doing the right thing, but she just couldn’t … I didn’t know I had that ball. So I didn’t know how to take care of it.
R: So, if it shows up again …
M: Well, now I’ll know what to do.
A Different Perspective
Marie’s conscious mind was very present during her regression, but so was her Higher Self.
You may have noticed this when she was switching from the 1st person to the 3rd person. When the 1st person was present, she was dealing with the raw emotions, the fears, the doubts and the drama of her life … but she was also able to pull herself out of the scene and look at is as the observer. When her Higher Self came in, she was much calmer, wiser, compassionate, decisive, and lighter. In the end, she answered all of her questions and was very happy with what happened in her session.
Copyright © 2020 Renée Morel. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material so long as you do not alter it in any way and that you include the URL link to this page.
This article was shared in my April 2020 Newsletter. To access the newsletter in your browser, CLICK HERE.
Images: Pixabay (Royalty Free)